The Growing Up Mini Series
by hostilecrayon
Summary: Duo and Heero have a falling out, and as they try to pick up the pieces, they figure out the rules to getting a second chance can be complicated. 1x2x1 Written for the gw500 LJ community. Complete.
1. It was the Floor Plan

Title: It Was the Floor Plan

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 2x1

Rating: PG

Word Count: 500 exactly! Woo!

Warnings/Kinks: Is denial a warning?

Notes: For the Temptation challenge at GW500. Inspired by 'It Don't Hurt' – Sheryl Crow. Just so no one gets confused, I never actually say what the temptation is or anything like that, but it's implied. I hope it worked out right.

**It Was the Floor Plan**

I hid the pictures of us in the closet. I never liked those pictures anyway. I gave the tea you left in your otherwise empty cupboard to Quatre. He has more of a taste for chamomile than I do. I haven't started using your old closet yet. I think it had mice. I'd been meaning to call pest control, but I couldn't find the time.

I've had plenty to do since you left. I finally got around to reading those books that were sitting in the closet. I found plenty of room to put them out with your stuff out of the way. The bookshelf looked really good on that wall where your dresser used to be. I put up new curtains to make the house more colorful. The blue you had up made everything seem dreary. I retiled the kitchen and the bathrooms. I found this great yellow color that you would have hated. I dug up your garden and planted flowers. It was a nice change. I sold the car you bought me and got a motorcycle. It might be dangerous, but I've always liked that sort of thing.

I've been having trouble sleeping, so I picked up some sleeping pills. They don't really work, but I have more time to do the things I want to do, so I'm not complaining. I've been going out at night now. I've met some nice guys, and maybe I'll call them. Things aren't as bad as they were. I'm sure a date would be a lot of fun.

I dyed my hair red. I know you liked the chestnut, but I figured it was time for a change. It stained the bathroom wall a little. You would have been pretty upset about that. I don't really think about things like that anymore. I've barely even noticed that you haven't called me in eleven months. Really, I didn't realize it had been that long. I've been too busy to keep an eye on the date.

You know, after all of the work I did in the house, it still didn't seem to fit me. I think it was the floor plan that really bothered me. I would have never put the laundry room that close to the bedroom. In the end, I decided to burn it down. I watched with some satisfaction as the house that gave me so much grief crumbled before my eyes. It had nothing to do with you, really. I just need something a little newer; something a little more flexible and modern.

Things are going well. I'm looking for a new place, though I haven't found anything I could call home yet. I'll find one though. I've already forgotten those promises we made about what home meant to us. I don't even think about you anymore. I'm sure the next house will be the one I'm looking for. It doesn't matter if I've been looking for six months. I don't need you to find home. Really.


	2. Lessons from Heero

Title: Lessons from Heero

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 1x2

Rating: PG

Warnings: Angst!

Word Count: 500!

Notes: Continued from It Was the Floor Plan, Heero's perspective on things. I've decided this will be a mini-series, consisting of I think 6 pieces. This is now the Growing Up mini-series. It's all Merith's fault, and everyone else who pushed for a sequel. For **gw500**, school challenge.

Man, it is hard to keep these at 500 exactly! Cutting stuff makes me sad.

**Lessons from Heero**

Duo never really got over the war. Or more accurately, his mindset during the war. He was overly flirty and overly fake. I understood, but I could only take so much of the not-quite-practical Maxwell before I lost my cool.

I only wanted to teach him a lesson, but things went horribly awry.

More than anything, I wanted to learn what it was to be a real person. The war was over and the world was in a place it hadn't been in years. Without war, weapons like myself were no longer needed, and I was free to become like everyone else. I could suddenly go to the movies on a whim without worrying about missions or soldiers recognizing me.

It was an incredibly free feeling, though it came with its own set of responsibilities.

Duo and I were not prepared for domestication. With the freedom came bills and steady jobs and house repairs. While we had shouldered more responsibility than any teenager should ever have during the war, this kind of responsibility was completely new.

I'll be the first to admit that we both went a little stir crazy in the beginning. We suddenly had to settle down and learn to live like normal members of society. It was difficult. I know it seems strange knowing what we were capable of to think of anything, especially something so simple, as difficult, but it was.

We were both trained to adapt to any situation, so we thought it would be easy. That was a grave miscalculation on both of our parts. We bought a house together, somewhere both close to people, but far enough away for privacy. We found a little house in the country, right outside a well populated city and settled in as the lovers we couldn't really be during the war.

Suddenly, we had neighbors to deal with, cars to fix and limited incomes. It was rather overwhelming. Neither of us had any space, something that bothered me more than him. Duo figured it out quickly; he'd always been more in tune with my emotions than I would have ever thought possible.

Doing me a favor, apparently, Duo went out and did what he does best – became whoever it took to fix the situation. He made friends with people, both county and city folk alike, and began spending a lot of time away from home. He never talked to me about how he felt; he just flashed me a bright, broken smile and pretended everything was okay.

Everything was most definitely not okay.

When I told him I was leaving him, when I told him to grow up, he snapped. His words were a string of hateful accusations, which I ignored, until he said one that didn't quite fit in with my lesson plans.

"You never loved me, but I guess that's just fine. I never loved you, either."

The man who never lies said he never loved me. I believed him.

I haven't seen him since.


	3. Opening Scabs

Title: Opening Scabs

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 1+2

Rating: PG-13 for language

Warnings: Angst! Cussing Duo

Disclaimer: I definitely don't own them, but it's fun to pretend I do.

Word Count: 500!

Notes: The mini-series is halfway done! (At least according to what I envision.) Heero POV again. We'll see what Duo is doing next time. But hey, they meet! It might not be too favorable though. .; For the gw500 Whitewash challenge.

**Opening Scabs**

"…He burned the house down?"

Wufei nodded solemnly, keeping his thoughts to himself.

_Does he really hate me that much?_

At that moment, I spotted Duo himself slinking through the crowd like a cat. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as he honed in on me, moving towards me with that surreal, feline grace he has while still managing to look casual. It was sickening how quickly one look opened a scab I'd spent a year trying to heal.

Wufei had also spotted him and chose that moment to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow." He politely inclined his head towards me and vanished from the small pub.

Not ten seconds later, Duo slid into Wufei's now vacant booth seat, his expression so amiable that anyone watching would have thought we got together every Friday night.

I didn't know what to say, and since Duo was the one who had sought me out, I chose to say nothing. I stared blankly at him, making it clear that I was waiting for him to start.

"So…" Duo started in that false cheery tone he uses for acquaintances, reclining and resting his hands behind his head. I hate playing his games, but when Duo serves, I have no choice but to return it. "I hear you're working for the Preventors now."

"Yes." That wasn't what he was there for, but he'd get around to it eventually.

"What happened to that whole spiel about no longer needing to fight?"

"I'm alone now. I'm not worried about leaving anyone behind." He hid the shock well, but I could tell that was one of the answers he wanted out of the evening.

He slumped back a little, losing a bit of his false cheer. "That's your own damn fault," he mumbled.

"What was that?"

"You fucking left me, dammit. You damn well chose to be alone." His eyes lost focus and he looked away.

"Did you come all this way to fight with me?"

I expected him to snap at me, but instead, he forced himself to make eye contact. "No."

"Then why did you come?"

"You haven't changed at all, have you?"

I blinked. "What are you talking about?"

"Did you ever stop to think about why I stopped talking to you near the end there?"

"It was an uncomfortable situation for both of us…"

Duo slammed his fist on the table. "No! Dammit, Heero! You just don't get it, do you? You can't just fucking talk to me! Short and to the damn point. 'What do you want?' You shut me out more when we were lovers than you did when we were just war partners!"

"I never…"

"You did. I admit that I have some issues to overcome, but dammit, Heero, I'm not the only one who needs to grow up. You need to change just as much as I do."

As I watched him walk away, his braid swinging softly behind him, I realized, just maybe, he was right.


	4. Advice from a Vulture

Title: Advice from a Vulture

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 2+1

Rating: PG

Warnings: Angst

Disclaimer: I own Gundam Wing as much as I own ocean front property in Nebraska and a warm vacation spot in Antarctica.

Word Count: 500

Notes: Duo POV. Part 4 in the Growing Up Mini-Series. Written for the GW500 Fake challenge.

**Advice from a Vulture**

It took me a long time to come to terms with everything that had happened. After my visit with Heero, it was like a fog had cleared and I could suddenly think again. I was running and hiding, even from Heero. I'd even _lied _to him. I couldn't even stick to my own principles. I meant what I said to Heero last time we met; we both needed to change.

I never expected to be given pointers by Dorothy Catalonia, of all people.

It was a chance meeting outside a high-class hotel. I was merely walking by when I heard someone calling my name. Dorothy, in all her forked-eyebrow glory, was waving me over to her.

"Hello there, Duo. Fancy meeting you here." She hadn't changed in the year or two since I'd seen her last. Her smile was just as malicious and her eyes were just as piercing as she stared at me like I was a piece of meat.

"Hello. I'm just passing through." I nodded, hoping that would suffice. Of course, it didn't.

"I'm in town on business, myself. Such a lovely hotel, this is. Have you ever stayed in it?"

"Uh, no, I haven't. I live just up that way." I pointed vaguely.

"Oh, I figured you had, being that Heero knew all about it. He escorted me here. Have you seen him lately?" Her grin widened; she knew she was poking at raw nerves and she was enjoying every minute of it.

"I saw him a few weeks ago, yes." I pushed out as politely as I could through clenched teeth. Dorothy always was a vulture.

"He appears to be going through some very productive changes. He's started chatting openly with people, and I hear he goes out quite a lot now. You wouldn't expect that from Heero Yuy, would you?"

"No, not really." I held the sigh in my chest. She was seriously trying my patience.

"Now that his lovely personality has blossomed, he gets more propositions than usual. I was a bit tempted myself, with how flirtatious he was on the drive over. His exotic looks combined with that charming personality make him quite the catch." Her voice was bored, as if she were discussing what to wear, but her grin turned to a sneer, and I had the impulse to wipe it off her face. Preferably with my fist.

"That's nice." I was thinking about tearing her face off, so it came out a little snappish.

"I hear he's holding out for an old boyfriend though. What a shame. If someone told me they didn't love me, I certainly wouldn't bother." She laughed a little, as if the thought was just absurd. "I'm sure it won't take too long for him to break." She sneered again, turning towards a parked car. "Well dear, it's time for me to depart. It was lovely talking to you."

I just stared as the car pulled away. Maybe it was time to give Heero a call.


	5. Try, Try, Try

Title: Try, Try, Try

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 1+2

Warnings: Angst

Disclaimer: I own Gundam Wing about as much as I own Gackt. Damn, I wish I owned Gackt. Drool

Word Count: 500!

Notes: Influenced by Try, Try, Try – Smashing Pumpkins. Part V of the Growing Up Mini-Series. Written for the GW500 Surrender challenge.

**Try, Try, Try**

"Hey Yuy! Baseball game at Kebo's tonight. You going?"

"Who's buying?"

"I think it's Tom's turn. I'll check."

I smiled. "Sure."

He chuckled. "Always so thrifty, Yuy. See you at eight!"

Ray continued on his way as I turned back to my report.

Things had changed quite a bit since Duo's impromptu visit. I thought about what he said for a long time, and I finally drew the same conclusion he had. I had resigned myself to knowing that I'd lost my chance with Duo, but knowing he didn't love me, unfortunately, didn't make me love him any less.

I just wanted to try again.

Maybe, if I could be what he wanted me to be, I could at least salvage our friendship. Nevermind it wasn't what I really wanted. Nevermind that it would never be enough. I just wanted to hold on to him. I couldn't forget him; I'd tried damn hard and had no success.

So I changed. I started going out with the guys from work to a little hole in the wall called Kebo's, where the beer was cheap and the pizza was hot. I made a point of making small talk with anyone and everyone. So far, I'd been getting a lot of praise for my recent shift in behavior, but there was only one person's opinion I wanted, and I wasn't quite sure how to get a hold of him.

But then, my transformation wasn't complete yet. I'd start my search after it was.

The day moved by quickly, and before I knew it, I was sitting around a table with four other guys and two girls, eating pizza, drinking beer and watching a baseball game that I didn't care about. Jane sat directly across from me, smiling shyly. The girl sitting next to me was much more blunt.

"So, when are you going to get yourself a girlfriend?"

I almost choked on my pizza. I hid it with a long swig of my beer.

"Or a boyfriend for that matter. I heard something about you waiting for some guy who doesn't love you. Well, a gorgeous thing like you shouldn't have to wait. You could have anyone in the department, present company not excluded!" Beverly laughed at her own joke, and I smiled softly, shaking my head at how fast gossip moved.

"I don't want anyone in the department." _I want Duo._

"Well, don't go waiting forever, honey." She punched me on the shoulder. "The rest of us would like a chance too, you know?"

I snorted. "If I gave everyone a chance who wanted one, I'd be a slut."

"Better a slut than a frigid old hag!" I laughed loudly at that, almost drowning out the sound of my cell phone.

I dug my phone out of my pocket and, still smiling and shaking my head, answered. "Yuy."

"Heero…" I stopped cold.

Beverly put a hand on my arm. "Hon, are you alright?"

My voice came out as barely a whisper. "Duo…"


	6. Tea in the Cupboard

Title: Tea in the Cupboard

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 2+1

Rating: PGWarnings: Angst  
Disclaimer: I own Gundam Wing about as much as I own Gackt. Damn, I wish I owned Gackt. Drool …Um… I mean, you can't own people! It's wrong! And stuff…  
Word Count: 737  
Notes: Umm… it was supposed to be 6… yes well… we all know I'm no good with length restrictions. So… erm… undetermined amount still left… maybe only one or two! Maybe… And 500 exactly is just starting to get to me, so I'm changing the rules for this series. I just couldn't bring myself to delete any of it, and I think about what I've removed from the last five pieces and it makes me weepy. So instead, it'll be 500 or more, but hopefully less than 1000 per piece. Duo POV. For the Come challenge at gw500.

**Tea in the Cupboard**

I smoothed my pants for the third time, shooting a nervous glance at my watch. He wasn't late yet, and Heero was never late, but I already felt like he'd stood me up. I paced the confines of the room until I wasn't sure whether I'd made the right choice. Not that it mattered. The choice was made, wrong or right. I felt the niggling impulse flee in the back of my mind, but I shut it down quickly.

I forced my pacing to stop by sitting on the bed, but I couldn't bottle the nervous energy well, and my leg started bouncing without any regard to what I wanted. It was best to get it out of my system before he showed up anyway.

I shook my head in mild disbelief. Heero was coming. He was on his way so we could have the conversation we should have had a year ago. I had no fucking idea what to say.

Then the knock came, and it was too late to try to figure it out.

"It's open." I stood just to have something to do other than entertain thoughts of sinking into the mattress and avoiding this all together.

The door opened slowly and Heero stepped in, taking a minute to take in my studio. I hadn't needed anything fancy, but with Heero's keen eyes scrutinizing and memorizing everything they came across, I suddenly felt wholly inadequate.

When his intense gaze finally came to rest on me, I balked, walking to the 'kitchen' part of the room under the guise of making tea just to avoid eye contact. And yes, I bought it because it reminded me of him. Shut up about it.

I set the kettle on the stove and busied myself by washing the only two cups that I currently owned. They were gifts, at that. At least they were coffee mugs; it's not easy drinking hot tea from a cup without a handle.

I could feel the weight of Heero's stare and I pointedly ignored it, scrubbing a little longer than necessary at cups that had only had water in them to begin with. When I'd finally finished that, Heero opened his mouth as if to say something, but the tea kettle started whistling and I completely turned my back on him to click off the burner and dig in the cupboard for the box of chamomile tea I'd opened just for the smell. It just didn't smell right in the morning without it.

When I turned back to the cups, tea bags in hand, I snuck a peek at him and almost dropped them. The bastard was smiling at me. Well, more like grinning wryly.

"Is there something funny you'd like to share with me?"

He shook his head softly, and when his eyes locked with mine, I could see the sadness there despite the slight upturn of his lips. "You always were good at avoidance. If I didn't know you, I probably wouldn't even have noticed that you never bothered to say hello."

I dropped my eyes and continued making the tea. "It's a skill," I snorted, knowing he'd understand the stealth comparison I'd made. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd thought that before he'd said anything.

"You can't dance around this forever." He said firmly, leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Says who?" I replied, my quick tongue running away from me. He shot a disapproving glance my way and I back-peddled. "I just don't know what to say, Heero."

He raised a questioning eyebrow. "You're the one who called me, Duo."

"And? This isn't easy, you know." I sighed in mild frustration, playing idly with the string sticking out of the brewing tea, making the bags bounce up and down.

"It's simple. Are we coming or going?"

It took me a second to make the leap from talking about talking to actually talking. Leave it to Heero to be blunt. When the implications of what he said finally hit me, I forgot all about tea bags. I looked up and his eyes connected with mine. We stood like that for I don't know how long, his eyes seeking and mine unable to retreat while the kitchen filled with the warm scent of a comfort I no longer had. I bit my lip, not sure what to say.

I didn't have an answer.


	7. Somewhere

Title: Somewhere

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 1+2, eventual 1 equals 2

Rating: PG-13 for swearing

Warnings: Angst! Swearing, OMG HOPE

Word Count: 702

Disclaimer: I live with my parents and they pay for me to go to college. I'd like to know where you think I got the money to buy Gundam Wing.

Notes: This is a little different interpretation of water. I'm not using it in a physical sense. Instead, I'm using the Pagan concept of the water element, in which it is strong emotion, among other things. Part VII of the Growing Up Mini-Series. Written for the Water challenge at the gw500 LJ community and the New Beginnings challenge at the 12 fans LJ community. Heero's POV. This is not the last installment.

**Somewhere**

I stood, calmly waiting for a response that never came. My nerves were shot, and it was all I could do to keep the collected appearance I'd managed. Nothing would get accomplished if I broke down, and I needed an answer.

He was back to fiddling around with the tea cups, and I knew if I wasn't forward with him, we'd dance around the issue for the rest of the day. I decided to be firm. "Duo."

Reluctantly, he handed me my tea, officially removing his distraction. He stared at his cup, though I wasn't quite sure why he has made himself one in the first place, as Duo never did like tea. He refused to look at me, but I knew I had his attention.

"Tell me what you want. As much as I'd like to be able to, I can't read your mind."

He sipped at his tea. "I don't know," he mumbled.

"Look, I don't know what's going on anymore. First you tell me you don't love me, and then you show up out of the blue-"

"I lied, okay? I fucking lied!"

I think the world stopped for a moment.

"You- You- What?" I blinked at him. Duo doesn't lie. Why would he…

"You hurt me, okay? I was hurt, and I just let my damn mouth run. It was the only thing I could think of to hurt you! I've always…" He tapered off towards the end and turned away, but I was pretty sure I knew what he was going to say. _I've always loved you._

"I… I'm sorry… I didn't mean-"

"Give me a break, Heero. You didn't mean to hurt me? What did you think; I'd rejoice that you were _leaving _me? You fucking broke my heart and you didn't even think twice about it!"

"No, that's not-"

"Yes, it was what happened. And where were you? Where were you when I was falling apart? Where were you when I…" He paused, his eyes lingering on the box of tea sitting on the counter. I couldn't help but feel that help some significance, but I had no idea what it was.

"When you burnt our house down?" His eyes darted to mine for a moment before they rested on the counter again.

"So you knew, then?"

"Wufei told me."

"Figures."

I was starting to shake. Duo always was a ball of emotion, and with his anger and pain directed at me, my calm façade couldn't last long. "So… where do we go from here?"

"I don't know, Heero. I just don't know. I mean, should we even do this again? Is there even a point?" He looked so lost; I had to keep myself from reaching out to him. Not even a year had dulled what I felt for him. I was willing to try anything.

"I like to think so." It was just a quiet statement, but he's always known me best, and as my hands started to shake, he looked up at me.

"We can't just start off where we left off, you know."

"I know." I looked him in the eye, resolving myself. "But we can start somewhere."

"Yeah, we can." He moved towards me hesitantly, and I met him halfway before he changed his mind.

We held each other for what felt like an eternity, and just feeling him against me again made me ache with longing even as it reassured me. I needed Duo, and this time, I wouldn't let him go.

As we reluctantly pulled apart, I said, "So what are you doing tomorrow? Say around seven?"

"Uh, nothing, I guess. Why?"

"Well, Duo Maxwell, since we're starting over, I'd like to take you out on our first date. Nothing too intimate, maybe dinner with some of my friends at Kebo's so we could get to know each other better?"

He laughed, and it was a beautiful sound. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed it. "You hang out at Kebo's? I would have never thought… well, why not? I look forward to it, Heero Yuy."

"Great! I'll pick you up at six-thirty then."

As I headed to my car, the wind whipping through my hair, I smiled.


	8. One for the Books

Title: One for the Books

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 2+1+2, eventual 12

Rating: PG

Warnings: Very Little Angst (WHAT!), tiny bit of sap

Word Count: 1,071 I said I'd try to keep it under 1,000… but…

Disclaimer: I live with my parents and they pay for me to go to college. I'd like to know where you think I got the money to buy Gundam Wing.

Notes: I must admit, the first thing that popped into my head when I saw "Swing" was the song Swing Swing by the All American Rejects. But I'm supposed to be being nicer to them now, so I didn't go with that... Part VIII of the Growing Up Mini-Series. Written for the Swing challenge at the gw500 LJ Community.

**One for the Books**

Heero was the picture of the perfect gentleman that night. I had changed at least four times, and I hoped it didn't show. I was so nervous I was afraid I'd break into a cold sweat from it.

It's not that I was afraid that we wouldn't get along. We always did. I was afraid of living up to who we used to be. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't really wrap my head around starting over. It felt like an act; I still loved Heero as much as I did the moment I realized it – only more. We may have changed, but his soul was still as pure as it ever was. I could never stop loving Heero; not in a million years.

Despite that, the evening went well. I felt a little out of place with his new friends, but things went a lot better once Trowa showed up. I mentally thanked Heero for inviting him. I got the feeling he wasn't a regular on these outings.

Heero's friends were all good people, and it wasn't hard to get along with them. I was a little surprised, really. They all seemed to be very outgoing; not at all the kind of people I expected. They teased me a little, calling me Heero's Pride and Joy, but a sharp look from Heero killed that nickname real quick. I wondered just how much these people knew about me.

We drank quite a bit, and it was pretty late when the group split up. While Heero was saying his goodbyes, Trowa came to stand next to me.

"Don't break his heart again." His voice was low, but his expression stayed neutral, watching Heero make one final goodbye.

I couldn't help myself. I just stared at him.

"I told him the same thing. I mean it. I never thought I'd see the day that Heero Yuy broke down. Quatre could feel you for weeks. We don't want to do it again." I flushed, averting my eyes, but he put a hand on my shoulder, and I was forced to look up again. His green eyes were full of regret, sadness, and just a little hope. "You two are good for each other. Try harder."

With that, he left me to wait for Heero.

Heero looked around as he approached. "Where did Trowa go?"

"He took off. Disappointed?"

He snorted. "No."

"So… what now?"

"I thought we could take a walk." He looked a little sheepish, and I almost laughed.

"It's your date."

"It's _our _date." He mock glared at me, and I did laugh then.

Just slightly more than buzzed, we made our way down the street in an unhurried fashion, 'accidentally' touching every few steps. A bump of the shoulder, a brush of the hips; innocent, but stimulating all the same.

Not quite fifteen minutes later, we came upon a park, and I followed Heero across the grass to the sandbox. He took a seat on a swing, and I followed suit.

"Did you ever play on the swings as a kid?" The question came out of nowhere, and I had to think about it for a minute before answering him.

"A few times. When I was at the church. You?"

He looked away, his eyes not really seeing the fence in his direct line of vision. "No." I thought he would leave it at that, but then, "I never had… normal things like that."

I squeezed his shoulder to let him know I was there, and it was enough to break the daze he was in. He shook his head a little and looked at me. "So, what kind of things do you like?"

I blinked a little. "What is this? Get-to-know-you hour?"

"Well, it's only our first date. I think it would be best if we got to know each other better so future dates will go smoother." A forward Heero. I never would have guessed.

I rolled my eyes a little at his game, but I was more than willing to go along with it, so I smirked and said, "Things I like?" He nodded. "I like Asian guys. Preferably Japanese."

"Oh yeah? Have you been with a Japanese guy before?"

"Once."

He smiled. "What was that like?"

"Well, he had this thing for green tank tops and spandex. It was rather hot, though it is ridiculous attire for everyday wear." He smirked at my answer, and we sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the stars.

He caught my eye again and held my gaze, a serious air sweeping over his features. "And what happened?"

I turned away and stared at the foot-made rut under the empty swing next to me. "I'm… not really sure. We just stopped communicating one day. I didn't try hard enough. Then, one day, he was gone."

"I'm sorry, Duo. I didn't try hard enough, either."

And suddenly he was in front of me. One hand was gently laid over mine, and the other touched my cheek hesitantly. He squatted down until we were at eye level, and his blue eyes were stormy and uncertain. He moved towards me slowly, but he stopped several inches away, asking without words.

For a brief moment, I thought it might be a bad idea to move so fast, but before I could even stop to think about it, my body reacted, and I pressed my lips against his, taking the decision out of his hands.

Tentative fingers slipped into my braid and I wrapped my free hand around his waist, pulling him closer. He gasped at the sudden movement, and I took that opportunity to slip my tongue between his partially parted lips.

I think I moaned a little. He tasted of pizza and cheap beer. He tasted of parmesan cheese and crushed red peppers. He tasted of Heero.

How I'd missed the taste.

When we finally broke apart, he went back to his swing a kicked off with a warm smile. I again followed suit, and I felt the pull of the weak substitute for flying.

That night, we had our second first date, Heero played on the swings for the first time, and for the first time in over I year, I thought things might actually work out for the better.

Though the pull from the swing was only a substitute, we flew together for the rest of the night.


	9. Pocket Lube

Title: Pocket Lube

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 1+2+1, eventual 1 equals 2

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Angst, maybe a touch of Sap

Word Count: 887

Disclaimer: I live with my parents and they pay for me to go to college. I'd like to know where you think I got the money to buy Gundam Wing.

Notes: Oh! Bumps in the road! Part IX of the Growing Up Mini-Series. Written for the Wrinkle/Ribbon challenge at the gw500 LJ Community.

**Pocket Lube**

Six dates came and went, and everything was going fine. It wasn't until our first 'house date' that the new road we started down got a little bumpy.

It was supposed to be a simple evening at his apartment, watching movies and eating dinner. And it started out that way.

Duo was stunning as usual, even in a plain blue t-shirt and a pair of black jeans that hugged in all the right places. The dark hues in the shirt brought out the blue in his eyes, making them an irresistible swirl of indigo. He was barefoot, and his long hair was loosely tied back with a ribbon that matched his shirt.

In short, he was my walking wet dream.

Things started out well. I brought Chinese with me from the little place on the corner that Duo likes so much. He demolished the Mushroom Chicken while I picked at my Lemon Chicken. Duo insisted on making two bags of popcorn to dump into his 'movie bowl' as he called it, and we demolished it with fervor as some third rate horror movie blared from the television.

Duo kept up a running dialogue during first half of the horrible film, commenting on everything from the 'special effects' to the woman attempting to run on three inch heels instead of just tossing the damn things.

As the movie grew steadily worse, we gravitated slowly together so that by the time the movie was halfway through, we weren't exactly paying attention to it. Instead, we were paying homage to each other's lips, masked terrors no longer in our minds.

By the time the credits began to roll, I'd removed his hair ribbon, and he'd removed my shirt. We didn't take notice when the screen faded to black. Duo's hand ran over my thigh, and with one hand tangled in his hair and one gently cupping his butt, anything that wasn't on the couch at that point in time didn't concern me.

Duo gripped my leg firmly, biting at my lower lip, slowly pushing his hand towards my torso. I groaned softly in anticipation as his fingers crawled towards my waistline. Just a little farther…

I heard a small thump hit the carpet next to me, and suddenly, Duo was peering over the side of the couch. Sloe-eyed and wanting, I put two and two together and realized that the slow rub up my pants had pushed the contents of my pocket and onto the floor.

Duo frowned slightly, squinting to see whatever it was. Then recognition dawned on his face and suddenly, my Duo blanket was gone and I was left cold and confused. I blinked a few times and looked up at him, perched angrily on the other end of the couch. "Duo?"

"Do you have a hot date after this or were you planning to use that with me?" His eyes narrowed, and in a brief moment of clarity, I realized just what had fallen to the floor.

A small tube of lube. Damn.

I groaned inwardly, not wanting to even start this conversation with him. I sat up slowly, the need inside all but disappearing at the fury written clearly across Duo's handsome features. "Duo… I didn't mean to imply…"

"Didn't we talk about this, Heero? We agreed!"

"I know we did."

"I always carry lube around when I'm not planning to have sex."

"I just wanted to be prepared… just in case…"

"Just in case you could convince me to give in?"

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Well then what did you mean? It's too soon!"

"I know, I know."

"Apparently, you don't think so."

I drug my hands down my face in exasperation. "Duo…"

"Don't act like this isn't a big deal, Heero."

I slammed my hand against the back of the couch in a fit of frustration. "Then don't act like we've never had sex before, Duo!"

He looked away, some of the anger draining from him. "I told you, we should establish a stronger relationship before we go all the way. I just want to make sure…" The 'I'm not going to get hurt again' was left off.

I locked eyes with him, urging him to see the truth in my words. "Duo, I want you. Can you blame me for that? You're the only person I've ever loved and we've been separated for over a year. I missed you. I missed us. Not just the sex. The intimacy between us. Things have been going well, yes. But everything has just been so tense between us." I ran my fingers through my hair tiredly. "I just… I know you're scared. Hell, I am too. But I love you Duo. If you want to wait, we'll wait. Just… don't blame me for hoping."

He looked at me slightly wide-eyed, and we met in the middle for a fierce hug. I wanted him, but I could wait as long as I had this. "Soon, love," he whispered, squeezing me tight before letting go. I smiled at him and reached for his ribbon.

He turned around for me and I worked on braiding his hair. Tying a bow at the end, I said, "I believe in us. We'll make it."

He mumbled something that sounded like 'I hope so,' but I couldn't be sure.


	10. One Box of Postcards

Title: One Box of Postcards

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 2+1+2, eventual 12

Rating: PG

Warnings: Light Angst, Light Sap

Word Count: 586

Disclaimer: I just spent 518 dollars on tires, so I was a little short when I tried to buy Gundam Wing on E-bay. Maybe next time.

Notes: Part X of the Growing Up Mini-Series. This one seems a little random, but it's not, really. I just wanted to get a little more into Duo's head here, to show his reasoning. Hope it worked. Written for the Post/Fedora challenge at the gw500 LJ Community.

**One Box of Postcards**

Not many people know that Heero has a thing for postcards. People who have always had stable lives and the assurance of a warm bed at the end of the day could never really understand the significance behind something like a permanent mailing address, and most people enjoy when other people think about them, but for Heero, it's just knowing that he even knows anyone to think about him.

We all have our own little quirks from the war, and postcards just happen to be one of Heero's.

Anytime I've seen a postcard, I've grabbed one for him. After we split up, I'd still bought them on impulse, but I hid them in a shoe box in the closet instead of sending them to him. That resulted in about a good hundred unsent postcards just lying around.

They were perfect for a day like today.

I haven't given Heero a postcard in over a year. I also know damn well that he still has every postcard I've ever given him. Some of them are stained with grease or torn and frayed, but he has kept them all. When he left me, he took almost nothing. He walked out with a duffle of clothes, one box of books, and one box of postcards. That's how much they mean to him.

I pulled out the box and leafed through the pictures. I wanted something somewhat neutral, but something that said things were fine between us.

I'd been feeling a little guilty about our small spat the other day. The words Heero said to me touched me more than I can really explain. I still don't think I was wrong, and when I make a decision, I stick to it as best as I can until it's been proven to me that I should change it. But it's obvious that Heero has been uneasy about the boundaries, and our small argument has raised the tension between us.

He wants my trust back, but I just don't know if I'm ready to give it.

I trust him as a person; that was never an issue. I trust him to watch my back, but trusting him with my heart is a completely different story. With how easily he destroyed me last time, he wouldn't even have to try now. I just need some time.

I love him fiercely, even if I can't say fully say it to him yet. Maybe when I can say it to him without fear. Maybe then, we can take bigger steps.

My fingers tremble a little as I sift through the cards, and I know that I've been thinking about it too much again. One step at a time.

I find a postcard with the picture of a fedora on the front, and I smile a little. I'd bought it because it reminded me of a costume party that Heero and I had gone to, and he'd told me my Mobsters attire suited me.

It was a memory of the good times, and I knew he'd understand.

We've had good memories. I don't just want to forget them. But to move forward, we need to make new ones.

I scrawled his address on the back and wrote 'Memories' with a bold pen before walking down the hall and slipping it into the mail slot.

He's know who it was from, and though this will be the first time I won't be there when he receives it, I know it will make him smile.

It's a start.


	11. Memories

Title: Memories  
Author: hostilecrayon  
Pairing: 1 equals 2  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: Heero in pajamas! XD  
Word Count: 702  
Disclaimer: I love to poke and prod the GW boys, but that doesn't mean I own them. Gundam Wing is owned by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino.  
Notes: I bet you thought this died, right? Part XI of the Growing Up Mini-Series. Written for the trash prompt at GW500.

**Memories**

It was a long day. I was bogged down by paperwork for most of the day, and the rest of it was spent training the new tech recruits. All I wanted to do when I got home was take a nice long shower, call Duo and pass out.

When I finally made it through my apartment door, I clicked on the light and dropped my briefcase next to the table. "Wufei?" There was no answer, so I headed straight for the shower, letting the hot water roll down my skin for much longer than I should have.

I closed my eyes and let the water splash over my face, and I thought about everything that had happened in the last few months. I'd finally left my self-inflicted solitude, opting to move in with Wufei like he'd been offering for the last year. It was nice to live with someone again; to have a friendly face moving about the house. Sometimes the routine was a little hard for me, though. Something either reminded me of living with Duo, or Wufei would do something so unlike Duo that it was too different from having Duo around. Either way, it bothered me. I had a feeling everything would bother me until I was living with Duo again, but I had learned to at least accept the way things were with the hope that someday things would be normal again.

Duo was the only normal I'd ever had.

I guess that's pushing it a little. Nothing about Duo is normal, per say. I should say his outrageous emotions and animated personality _became_ normal for me. We had only begun to rectify things, and I would be damned if I let that go. I'd already made a mistake, and I couldn't help but beat myself up about it. He had made his intentions very clear, and still, I'd wanted it so much that I couldn't help but hope for it. He was the only person I'd ever wanted. I'd do whatever it took to keep him. I just had to try harder.

I turned the shower off, drying off quickly before slipping into a white t-shirt and a faded pair of warm pajama pants. They had penguins all over them, and I couldn't help but smile at the memory of the Christmas I found them hastily stuffed into a stocking that was duct taped to Wing. I still have no idea where he found the damn things. It took me months to admit that I actually wore them. They're still my favorite pair to this day.

I padded out to the living room, my Preventor dog tags jingling against my shirt, and I settled into my overstuffed recliner, snatching up the remote. I just sat there holding it, enjoying the silence of the apartment.

The sound of keys jingling in the lock broke me from the slight daze I'd fallen into, though it was a welcome interruption. Wufei went about his normal routine, putting a kettle of water on the stove and pulling down the tea boxes and cups.

"Long day at work?" He asked, wiping his hands on a hand towel.

"Yeah. I just want to melt into the chair."

"I got the mail."

"Anything good?"

"Just garbage. Do you want it, or should I just toss it?"

"What is it?"

Wufei thumbed through the envelopes. "A coupon for car insurance, pre-approved credit card, a postcard with no return address…"

Sleepiness gone, I jumped off the couch and snatched the mail from Wufei's hand. Before Wufei could even protest, I dropped all the envelopes and examined the postcard. I smiled at the night I knew it was supposed to represent, and I flipped it over, reading the one word scrawled across the back.

"Memories?" Wufei queried. "What does that mean?"

"It's time to make new ones." I left Wufei's baffled look in the kitchen and snatched my cell phone up, dialing the number I already knew by heart.

Duo answered, and before greeting him and asking him about his day, I just blurted out the first words that came to me; words we hadn't properly said to each other in over a year.

"I love you."


	12. Awkward Silences

Title: Awkward Silences  
Author: hostilecrayon  
Pairing: 1 equals 2  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: Duo POV. Angst!  
Word Count: 548  
Disclaimer: I love to poke and prod the GW boys, but that doesn't mean I own them. Gundam Wing is owned by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino.  
Notes: No with the hurting! Ducks and runs Written for the gw500 vice prompt. Part XII in the Growing Up Mini-Series.

**Awkward Silences**

The words washed over me and I took a sharp breath, biting my lip. They hadn't been properly said in such a long time – a time when things were very different from the feeble attempt of making things the way they once were. I opened my mouth, closed it, and opened it again, but no words came.

I loved Heero – to that, there was no question. But saying it – confirming the next step in the relationship – was just too much for me. I wasn't ready for that yet.

And as the silence dragged on, I could almost feel Heero's tension through the phone.

Well aware of the suspense I was creating, I took a deep breath and rushed into an explanation. "Heero, you know I return your feelings, but I'm just not ready to take that step yet. It's not your fault, but I just feel-"

His voice was strained when he interrupted me. "I understand, Duo."

"But Heero, let me explain-"

"It's alright." But the dejection lingering in his voice told me things were far from alright.

I chewed on my pinky, desperate to come up with something, anything to make things right, but nothing came, and after some awkward silence, Heero muttered, "Well, I'm exhausted. It was a long day. I'm going to go climb in bed."

"Heero…"

My heart was pounding; the last thing I wanted was to let Heero go to bed feeling rejected, but he didn't give me a chance to formulate the appropriate response before he said, "Goodnight, Duo," with such finality that it felt like a slap in the face.

Long after the line went dead, I held the phone to my ear, unwilling to believe he had just hung up on me.

Everything about the second time around seemed to be filled with invisible rules. I had thought I was setting everything up to keep us both safe, to make sure that we could build a working relationship, but it was all just so complicated that I wasn't even sure I knew the rules anymore.

I needed to keep my distance, for my own sake, but my own protection seemed to only hold me down, like a vice keeping me from moving. I had no idea how to break free.

I needed Heero. My time without him proved that much. But I was so afraid that we'd fall back into our old pattern that I kept running from him.

I thought about him laying there, running my words over and over through his head, and I could feel the pain I knew he must have been feeling; how I knew I'd feel if it had been me on the other end of the line, not having my words echoed, and I felt utterly miserable for doing that to him.

I needed to take my time, but we hadn't moved forward for a while. I was starting to wonder if I hadn't become stagnant. Wonder if my fear wouldn't ruin my chances at the only thing I've ever truly wanted.

The only person I've ever truly loved.

I wanted to move forward; to meet him halfway, but I wasn't sure I knew how.

And in the midst of the most important decision of my life, I found myself at a loss.


	13. Sunflowers

Title: Sunflowers  
Author: hostilecrayon  
Pairing: 1 equals 2  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: Sap  
Word Count: 1,884  
Disclaimer: I love to poke and prod the GW boys, but that doesn't mean I own them. Gundam Wing is owned by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino.  
Notes: I couldn't leave it hanging all emo like that. I had way too much of an urge to write the next part. Plus, I want to try to catch up on some of the gw500 prompts I've missed. So, here we are, Part XIII of the Growing Up Mini-Series, written for the romance prompt for gw500. It's a bit on the long side for this series, but I think it's because I'm getting closer to being done with the series. But it's not quite finished yet – there's still a few parts to go. I hope you've enjoyed it, and I'll be sad when it's finished. Much love to everyone who's been following along!

**Sunflowers**

I would be grotesquely lying if I said his reaction didn't hurt me. It hurt a lot more than I was willing to admit. I told myself that I understood, and that I could endure it until he was ready, but the truth is, I didn't understand at all.

It was that truth that kept me from calling him for a week. I ignored his calls, and when Wufei inquired about the state of our relationship, I calmly told him that we were just in a cooling off period. The edge in my voice kept him from asking any further questions. I'd even taken to ignoring Quatre and Trowa's calls as well, but I was hard-pressed to avoid them in the office. Fortunately, the constant presence of agents running up and down the hallways kept them from talking freely, but that didn't stop the looks of compassion from Quatre, nor did it stop the cool calculating stare from Trowa.

When the weekend rolled around, I was more than just a little relieved. I was completely prepared to hole myself up in my room for the next two days, steering clear of Wufei's knowing eyes and his offers of tea to 'relax' me. It wasn't much of a surprise that Duo had at least told Quatre, and the news had spread like a wildfire through the group. For all I knew, he'd told each of them himself, and though not one of them had breathed a word about it to me, their behavior was obvious enough. There was no such thing as a secret in a group as close as ours, after all.

I made it home without incident and I had almost completed my mission of locking myself in my room and throwing away the key when I noticed the first oddity staring me in the face from my desk as I closed the door to my room. There was a rather large and colorful array of flowers in a crystal vase sitting serenely on my desk as if they belonged there. But looking around at the rest of my untouched room, they most certainly did not belong there, nestled between my laptop and my desk lamp. On instinct, I checked for a card, but there was none. I had more than a sneaking suspicion of where they'd come from, but I resolutely ignored them and went about my nightly routine as if they weren't there at all.

Later in the evening I felt my stomach rumbling and I went to seek out Wufei to see if he had dinner going or if I should just order out. When I didn't immediately find him, I went to see if he was in his room, but it seemed he wasn't home yet.

I went to the refrigerator for a soda and got my second surprise of the night. Sitting on the second shelf next to the Dr. Pepper was a container with a note lying on it. It only had one word scrawled across the pink post-it note: Heero. The tiny scrawl was one that I recognized all too well, and though my stomach was rumbling, I ignored the clear Tupperware container with homemade meatloaf, fresh asparagus spears and mashed red potatoes – a favorite meal of mine.

Instead, I punched in the number of my favorite Chinese food restaurant with more force than necessary. I rattled off my usual order and hung up the phone, refusing to think about the meal in the fridge and its connection to the yellow sunflowers, white lilies and orange carnations sitting on the desk in my room.

I decided to risk Wufei coming home and finding me disgruntled and sat in my favorite easy chair, hoping to rid myself of the oddities in the house. No sooner had I sat down though I started thinking about the last time I was sitting in the comfortable chair and I found myself rising quickly, stalking over to the patio and wrenching the door open. I stepped out onto the aging wood and rested my arms on the firm black iron railing, looking down on the ever-moving world below me. I let myself get lost in the flow of it all until the doorbell jarred me back to my own world, and I went to get my wallet.

I ignored the flowers again, grabbed the black leather wallet Duo had bought for me nearly two years before, pulled out some cash and dropped in unceremoniously on top of the pants I had fished it from. I opened the door to greet the delivery guy and saw that not only had my food arrived, but so had someone else. I paid him no mind, thinking him to be some sort of solicitor, and I nearly closed the door in his face, saying, "I don't want any," when he held out his hand to stop its progress.

"Heero Yuy?"

"What of it?" I snapped, in no mood to deal with this man, or any other, at the moment.

"I have a delivery for you." He held out a large parcel wrapped hastily in brown paper and covered in far too many stamps.

"I didn't order anything," I said flatly, moving to close the door again, but he was a tenacious bastard, thrusting his clipboard into the hand that wasn't clutching a bag of delicious-smelling Chinese food.

"Oh alright then. Who is this from, anyway?" I asked, setting down my food and signing messily. I had a feeling I knew exactly who it was from, and I wasn't all that sure I wanted confirmation. If my suspicions were correct, I felt more inclined to throw the parcel at the man rather than open it.

"My apologies, Mr. Yuy, but I am not privy to that information. He spoke politely, but his eyes gave him away. He knew exactly who it was from, but he'd probably been ordered not to tell me. I grunted more than thanked him, thrusting his clipboard back into his hands and firmly closing the door. I barely heard his courteous goodbye as I picked up my food, bringing it back to the table and digging in. I tucked the package carefully out of sight, hoping the whole "out of sight, out of mind" saying would hold true, but it was to no avail. All through dinner I wondered what could be in the box, curious despite myself.

I read a bit of a book I'd been reading, more as a distraction than anything else, but I found it hard to concentrate. I took a shower, brushed my teeth and boxed up my leftovers. But all this normal activity didn't keep the box from my mind, despite it being out of sight, and putting the leftover boxes of food in the fridge next to the untouched meal with the pink post-it note from whom I highly suspected had sent it and there was just no ignoring it any longer.

I fished the box out from under the table and shook it a little. It was not so much me trying to figure out what was in it as me stalling, but the sound gave me no clues as to what might lie inside and I was quickly running out of ways to keep from opening it.

I decided it would be easier to just do it quickly and get it over with. I ripped the paper off unceremoniously, which upon looking at it closer indeed had Duo's scrawl across it in the form of my address and flung open the box.

Whatever lay inside was covered by a crudely cut out piece of cardboard, upon which sat another note. This one was bigger than the post-it note in the fridge, but it still didn't have much written on it.

The tiny writing was the neatest I'd ever seen it, as if it had been written and rewritten so many times that the writer had memorized the contents before drafting the final copy.

"To Heero, my old war comrade, my closest friend and my most exceptional lover,

Enclosed is the collection I've built up over the last year or so, but never had any intention of sending. Call it an old habit, or perhaps a part of me that knew me better than I did, but I never did stop buying them. I probably should have sent them sooner, but it took me a while to write on them all. I hope you like them.

Duo

P.S. I hope you like the flowers. Sunflowers are so you."

I held my breath, knowing what was in the box but not daring the believe it. He couldn't have… over all that time? After everything that happened?

Captivated by the thin piece of cardboard keeping me from seeing the contents of the box, unsure what to think, how to feel, my fingers reached for it. I couldn't help myself; I closed my eyes, groping for the edges and pried away the thing that just may as well have been keeping me sane. After a few deep breaths, I let my fingers reach in, and my eyes opened, partly in shock of being right, and stared at the hundreds of postcards that lay in neat little stacks in the box. It was easily more than double the collection I had kept of his over the years.

With a great deal of apprehension and some grudging curiosity, I picked up the first glossy card depicting a puppy running happily through a field of tall grass and turned it over. Neatly printed next to the address line – which he had filled out, regardless of it being completely unnecessary – was the word 'friendship'. I reached back into the box again, a bit more eagerly, and started going through the huge box, taking my time to take each one in.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, reliving memories at the kitchen table. Wufei never did come home, and for that I am glad; though I had a sneaking suspicion that Duo had had something to do with that. Scenes of every different kind was held in my fingertips, one by one; beaches, people laughing, landscapes, small objects, everything you could thing of. And on the back of each, next to my address, was a short message; hopes, dreams, fears. When I had finally gone through them all, I noticed the suspiciously postcard shaped envelope sitting in the now empty box.

I opened it with trembling fingers, no longer knowing what to expect.

Inside was another postcard, this one emblazoned with a single red rose set on a backdrop of a black and white desk, and upon turning it over, saw that it, like the others, had a message next to my neatly printed address. But this message, unlike the others, took my breath away.

In bold black letters, calling to the very depths of my soul, was a single word. 'Love'.

It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me.

I don't think I've ever dialed my phone so quickly. It wasn't even halfway through the first ring when Duo answered. "Heero…"

"Duo, I-"

But whatever I had to say was swallowed up by his next words. "Come over."

He didn't have to tell me twice.


	14. Moving Forward Edited Version

Title: Moving Forward  
Author: hostilecrayon  
Paring: 1 equals 2 (2x1 Lemon)  
Rating: NC-17 (Lemon removed due to policy. See details of where to find it italicized below.)  
Warnings: Lemon, sap  
Word Count: 1,963  
Disclaimer: I love to poke and prod the GW boys, but that doesn't mean I own them. Gundam Wing is owned by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino.  
Notes: Part XIV of the Growing Up Mini-Series. Written for the St. Elmo's Fire/Promise challenge at gw500. This 2x1 Lemon is dedicated to Natea and Link Worshiper – two of my favorite 2x1 loving ladies. I was absolutely thinking of you both when I wrote this. This is not the last installment. I think there will be two more parts.

**Moving Forward**

When the doorbell rang, I was as nervous as I was the day of our second first date. I was relieved that he came, but the very fact that he was at my door increased my nerves by tenfold. I opened the door with an only slightly quivering hand and offered up a weak smile. Heero was breathing a little heavy and the light sheen of sweat gave away the fact that he'd flew up the six flights of stairs rather than walked. I fidgeted a little and invited him inside.

He sat on the couch/pull-out bed and for a moment, I just stared at him. I swallowed uncomfortably before asking him, "Would you like a drink?"

He nodded and I poured us both some apple cider in the wine glasses I'd bought two days prior. I'd considered actual wine, but I didn't want him to think my decision was at all affected by the alcohol. I took a seat next to him – not that there was too many other places to sit in my little studio – and we both sipped our drinks in silence for a while. I had thought and re-thought a million different ways to start this conversation, but now that it was happening, I couldn't remember one.

I took a breath, then another and set my drink on the little side table. I took Heero's glass without asking and set it aside as well. I hesitated slightly, thinking over a few last minute things I could possibly say and instead just went with my instincts.

I kissed him.

It was long and hard and filled to the brim with emotion. I could feel Heero's surprise, and then his acceptance as he melted into the kiss.

He moaned my name into my mouth, and I knew he wanted to talk, but I would not be deterred. I pulled him up with me, and I finally released him when we were standing next to the couch. I was pulling off cushions as fast as I could, and Heero just stood and watched, an adorably confused expression on his face.

"My bed is underneath here," I said as a way of explanation.

"You're pulling out your bed?"

"Yeah. Now grab the other side, will you? It's much easier to pull out with two people." He did as I asked, but there was apprehension in every move he made.

"Duo?" He started again, but I paid him no mind as I tossed the pillows on the bed and pulled a blanket out of the closet. I was well past nervous and approaching a state of panic, and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about it.

I hopped onto the bed and reached out to pull Heero down, but he grabbed my wrists and held me firm. "Duo, you've got to talk to me."

I looked away and he let go of me, sitting on the edge of the bed. "It's just… I've made up my mind."

"Well, that's nice. Could you let me in on it so I can make up mine? Duo, this isn't like you."

"I want to make it right."

"You think you have to have sex with me to make it right? Duo, that's not what I want. I mean, it is what I want, but not like this. Not because you think I'll be mad at you if I don't." His eyes softened and he reached for my hand, running his fingertips across my palm.

"No, you don't understand. That's not what I'm doing."

"Well, what are you doing?"

I stared deep into his cloudy blue eyes, begging him to understand. "Do you trust me, Heero?"

The answer was immediate. "With every ounce of my being."

"Then let me show you." I could see the hesitance in his face, but he let me lay him down and kiss him softly. I fluttered kisses across his cheeks and down his throat and he bit his lip when I sucked lightly at the spot where his neck and shoulder met. As I let my tongue play across his skin, my hand pushed up his shirt and traced idle pattern across his stomach. I sat up a little, pushing his shirt further up and he lifted his body, allowing me to remove it. He still looked a little uncertain but he couldn't help but moan when my lips found his nipple.

I stopped only long enough to strip myself of my own shirt before pressing our bodies together, enjoying the feel of skin on skin. I kissed him deeply, biting at his lip while my fingers toyed with the button on his jeans. He was already hard and I could feel his impressive length pressing into my thigh through our pants.

I had his pants halfway down his muscular legs before he spoke. "We don't have to do this." It was his way of letting me know he was willing to stop if I wanted to, but this far into the game, I'd never been surer of anything in my life.

"Yes we do. And not because I think I don't have a choice. We have to because I want to. I want to show you…" I paused for a moment, chewing on the words. I knew that he'd let me end the sentence there if I wanted to, but it was way past time. It may have taken me a while to figure things out, but I was ready to take the next step; ready to take a big step to where we were before. I kissed him one more time, taking my time to savor him before coming back up to finally finish my sentence. "I want to show you how much I love you."

His eyes widened and he just stared at me, his eyes watering before he grabbed me and kissed me with so much passion I felt dizzy. With those words, all his reservations seemed to fly out the window. His hands ran down may back and up my sides, touching as much of me as he could reach. I wrestled his pants off of him and sat back to see him lying there in nothing but a pair of light green boxers, but I didn't stay there long. Heero pulled me back down to him and nipped at my neck while removing me from my pants as well.

We laid there for a while, kissing and touching in our underwear, both wanting each other but neither of us wanting to rush this moment. Regardless of how many times we had done this in the past, this time – our first time in our new relationship – was something special. It was both familiar and new all at the same time. I can't remember ever wanting him so badly before. It was as if this love that we had had for each other for so long was being reborn in that very moment.

Slowly and with purpose, I pulled off his boxers, and he mine. I lay on top of him, our erections pressing together and our skin flushed with need and just stared at his handsome face. His eyes were swirling with emotion; his glistening lips parted slightly. The feelings filling my tiny studio apartment were palpable.

"I love you, Duo." His voice was thick and husky, and it sent shivers down my spine.

"I love you." The force the words conjured in me was overwhelming, and I kissed him once more before reaching for the bottle of lube.

_ (Lemon removed due to fanfiction(dot)net policy. If you would like to read it, you can find it at Media Miner (mediaminer(dot)org) under hostilecrayon or at my LJ (hostilecrayon(dot)livejournal(dot)com). I apologize for the inconvenience.)_

Heero's hand dug into my hair and his breath tickled my ear. "I love you, Duo. God, do I love you."

We shared another long, meaningful kiss before I sat up, the stickiness starting to get to me. "That was beyond hot. St. Elmo's Fire, eat your heart out."

"St. Elmo's Fire isn't really fire, you know. It's-"

I laughed. "Heero, I know you're an endless well of information and all, but it's just an expression." He grinned. "You ready for a shower?"

He rolled out of the wet spot and said, "Definitely."

"And Heero? There's just one more thing…"

He looked up at me. "Yeah?"

"I promise we'll be moving forward from now on, okay?"

He broke out into a brilliant smile that followed into the shower and back to the bed, where we slept together for the first time in over a year. And as I snuggled up close to him, I just knew that from now on, no matter how bad things got, everything would be okay.


	15. Sunshine

Title: Sunshine

Author: hostilecrayon

Paring: 1 equals 2

Rating: PG

Warnings: Sap, Memories

Word Count: 519

Disclaimer: Still poor. Gundam Wing is owned by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino.

Notes: One more part to go, me thinks. Part XV of the Growing Up Mini-Series. Written for the Shell prompt at GW500.

**Sunshine**

The morning came like mornings should – slow and comfortable. The sun slinked its way through the blinds, laying lazily across the blanket in stripes. Despite the chaos over the last year, it felt natural to wake up with Duo spawled across the bed, one arm slung across me and a leg hanging off the bed.It was more satisfying than a million other mornings all put together and multiplied by infinity.

Memories of the previous night rolled gently through my mind, and I couldn't help thinking I was, as Duo would say, one lucky son of a bitch. There was a time when I never dreamed I'd wake up next to the only man I've ever loved again. It was as if everything was washed away and we had a chance to start anew.

It made me think of everything we'd been through in our short lives. With Duo snoring softly next to me, I couldn't help but remember a time when we didn't have the luxury of sleeping in; when a few minutes' time was the difference between life and death. There was seldom a time when the gunshots and bombshells weren't fresh in our minds – our ears would sometimes ring for days on end.

I remembered pulling shards of bullets from his otherwise soft skin and having no choice but to coldly bandage his wounds as best I could so that we could move on, and he frequently did the same for me. We were just kids, but our lives consisted of little more than carnage and death.

My fingers traced his wounds, many of which I witnessed him receive firsthand. It was a different world back then. We had no hope of surviving; no chance of being anything more than machines made to fight for the greater good. As if teenagers can even understand such things. As if we ever should have been expected to.

But we had our causes, and we fought what came to be our own personal war as best we could. We all had the devil's luck and somehow we came out in the end, but the memories never leave, even if they've faded in intensity over the years.

I honestly can't tell you how I ever let him go. I just don't know. After all that we had faced, there shouldn't have been anything strong enough to tear us apart. But then, we never had the chance to develop emotions like normal teenagers, and it ended up biting us in the ass.

I really am a lucky bastard. Not only did I escape death more times than I can count, I escaped a death far more painful than any I'd faced in the war.

The death of Duo and I.

The sun stretched farther now, brightening the wall with its now cheerful light. Duo stirred, gripping me tighter as he adjusted. I looked down and smiled. I had all the sunshine I'd ever need right there next to me.

For the first time in who knows how long, I rolled over and went back to sleep on a perfectly sunny morning.


	16. Here and Now

Title: Here and Now  
Author: hostilecrayon  
Paring: 1=2  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: Sap  
Word Count: 530  
Disclaimer: Still poor. Gundam Wing is owned by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino.  
Notes: My bunnies hate me. Really, they do. This is the final installment in the Growing Up Mini-Series… but stay tuned for the sequel – Still Growing: The Not-So-Mini-Series. Thanks to everyone who has seen this all the way through, and to the many people who have looked this over and helped me out when I was feeling idea-less. Also, much appreciation goes to GW500 – the place that started it all. As always, written for GW500, the prompt of Stress.

**Here and Now**

Quatre is beaming at us Trowa has an irritating little smirk on his face, but then, I'm smiling, too, so I can't be too upset. Wufei is looking pleased, as well, and it just makes me realize how much our actions had affected the group as a whole.

It was the first time we'd had a pilot get-together in almost two years, but it felt more like a reunion. The stress of our break-up had broken apart the group, and being here with our friends felt like coming home. Heero, who was smiling more than I'd seen in years, was half-leaning on me, talking with Wufei about Preventor business. Quatre and Trowa are catching me up on everything I'd missed, which is quite a bit if you think about just how many sisters Quatre has. It doesn't really matter what we're talking about, though. Quatre could have tried to convince me the moon was made of cheese and I'd probably still feel as happy as I do right now.

I didn't realize how much I missed my friends. I mean, I knew I missed them. But this amiable companionship is something I've never felt with anyone who wasn't currently in the room. I really don't know how I made it through without them – without all of them, together like this. We have a history that just can't be fully understood by anyone who wasn't out there fighting right beside us. I am fully convinced that I would have become a crotchety old hermit without them.

I'd seen them each one on one, with the exception of Heero, over the years, but even just being in this room felt new to me. Quatre had set aside a special room for all of us – he called it the 'Pilots' Den' – and he was always adding new features to it. It was a shock to walk in here and see that nothing had been touched since the last time I was here. I wonder if they even used it. I felt incomplete without them; maybe they felt the same.

None of that matters now, though. We've been reunited, and I'll be damned if I'm the one to split us up again. God forbid Heero and I break up again, but if we do, I'll still come to the gatherings – even if it kills me.

That turns my thoughts to everything Heero and I have gone through, and with one ear listening to how Iria was doing, I thought long and hard about it. I couldn't help but think Heero and I were both idiots. We handled things ridiculously badly, and it took us much too long to talk about it. We were both stupid. But his warmth is radiating around me, and I smile anyway. We may be idiots, but we can be idiots together. Somehow, that makes it okay.

I settle in a little deeper into the couch cushions and put a little more of my weight on Heero. We're all here now, and that's the only thing that matters.

I turn my attention back to Quatre, finally ready to live in the here and now. There's nowhere else I'd rather be.


End file.
